perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
Randomize
