Tell her she can't have a vagina
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
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