Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
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