with your own penis?
I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
Randomize
