you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
I TAUGHT HER CAT TO SIT. CATS DON'T FUCKING SIT ON COMMAND. BUT THIS ONE DID!
It's basically my crowning achievement.
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
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