watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
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