I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
I touched a dick in church today
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
Randomize
