I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
Randomize
