remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
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