got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
Randomize
