I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
Randomize
