normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
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