WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
Dicks are not precious.
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
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