Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
Randomize
