i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
OPIZZABONMYDICK
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
Randomize
