I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
Somehow I magically turned down a threesome last night. On my birthday. You're a horrible wingman.
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
Randomize