we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
I know her cup size but not her name....
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
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