Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
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