she was so not down for the gang bang
Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
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