Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
Randomize