Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
