A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
Randomize
