ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
Randomize
