I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
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I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
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