dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
Randomize
