Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
Randomize
