Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
Randomize
