im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
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