All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
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