This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
Randomize
