No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
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