At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
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