I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
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