i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
I'm watching my cat lick a used condom wrapper on my nightstand and I'm too hungover to move and do anything about it. Tequila Tuesdays can not be a thing.
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
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