just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
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