so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
Randomize