Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
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