Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
Randomize