Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
sex in a hospital.. check
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
Randomize
