So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
Randomize
