he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
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