Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
Randomize
