hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
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