FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
Randomize
