I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
The ass gains better be worth it
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