i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
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Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
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Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
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