hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
this beer tastes like vomit already
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?