my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
23 Adults Confess The Irrational Fears They Had When They Were Kids
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
These 25 Women First Experienced Sexual Harassment At A Shocking Age
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight