if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
I wish life had little blips of pornography
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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