I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
Randomize
