and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
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