she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
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