Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
Randomize
