That's when you crack a 10am beer
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
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