Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
Boobs speak an international language.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
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