If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
Randomize