All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
Randomize
