I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just had a 10 minute long conversation with my cat about how if I died, and he needed to eat me to live, I'd totally be ok with it. Definitely still drunk.
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Randomize