i don't plan on having that self control this summer
my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
Randomize
